Boundary or An Old Story? Exploring What Drives Your Reactions
Recently, I've been dedicating a lot of my time and energy to group offerings and workshops, particularly "The Essential Art of Saying No and Setting Healthy Boundaries."
I strongly believe in the importance of setting boundaries, and this work has prompted me to reflect on discerning between internal and external boundaries, as well as understanding our reactions when triggered by old stories or core beliefs.
This train of thought brings me back to about 6 months ago when I wasn't managing my personal time and work-life balance well—a clear lack of internal boundaries. At that time, my partner, who was working full-time and while taking a very demanding training program, gently mentioned needing extra help with home duties like cooking dinner. While this seemed like a reasonable request, my reaction told a different story. In that moment, my response was disproportionate, almost primal. My body tensed, my voice escalated, and I was taken over by a whirlwind of emotion because I wasn't seeing the situation clearly; I was stuck in an old story, a core belief that clouded my perception.
Around the same time, I felt a surge of rage when someone simply asked me to go for coffee. Intrusive thoughts surfaced, like "I don't even have time for myself, how could you ask me to give more of my time away?"
Reflecting on this has highlighted the importance of recognizing past wounds versus present circumstances, as well as identifying internal and external boundaries. If my time is truly valuable, it is my responsibility to set parameters in my own life to protect it. Setting external boundaries wouldn't be appropriate here.
This reflection led to a powerful realization for me: by tending to my internal boundaries, I gain more capacity to respond with clarity and grace.
Therefore, I invite you to pause and contemplate: how do you navigate your internal and external boundaries? Are you open to exploring the stories and beliefs that drive your reactions?
I extend an invitation to join me in diving deeper, into the realm of boundaries and beliefs. If you're ready to explore further, consider signing up for my workshop, where we'll discuss the essential art of saying no to all the things in life that encroach upon your precious time, while setting healthy internal and external boundaries.